Guarded

To be in a cage,

yet completelly free.

Paralyzed.

 

I am unable

to do as I please,

since my fears

(and flaws)

follow me around

everywhere.

 

Should I smile?

Say hello?

Would I look sad?

Pitiful?

 

Or get rejected-

can a smile get rejected?

 

Do you know I exist?

Of course you do.

You told that to your friends.

But what do you think of me?

 

The girl frowning through life,

looking insecure.

 

Guarded.

By sadness itself.

 

 

Thoughts

How intense can thoughts be?

If I see a window,

it might remind me,

of how fragile we are:

If we jump

and end

our irrelevant lives,

on universal scope,

we don't matter.

Some think we do.

But we don't.

 

 

It makes me sad.

Flaws

Flaws are nothingness

Empty somethings.

Things we lack,

and things we do.

 

Your half is not,

bothered by your flaws.

Because they're uncompatibile.

 

If your something

accents their nothingness,

then it's vexing.

My grandfather

My grandfather likes to tell stories.

And we, as the youth does,

like to listen.

 

The thing is,

my grandfather,

is hard to understand.

 

And so we,

not to insult him,

just nod and laugh,

if we don't understand.

 

Sometimes I imagine,

what it's like.

 

Around you,

people just nodding and smiling,

without understanding.

 

To be listened to,

but be unheard.

 

My grandfather is happy,

however,

for he doesn't know.

I'm not so good at writing.

I'm not so good at singing.

I'm not good at playing the viola.

Same goes for the piano.

 

I'm not so good at picking friends.

I'm not so good at being happy.

I'm not so good at sports.

Make that very bad.

 

The only thing,

I'm good at,

though,

is knowing,

what I'm bad at.